This thought has stayed with me this week:
Over a lifetime of practice, contemplation gradually helps you detach from who you think you are and rest in your authentic identity as Love. At first this may feel like an “identity transplant” until you learn how to permanently rest in God.
The thought comes from one of Richard Rohr's meditations, but I wonder when we can say that "I know who I am" and not be fooling ourselves. I know who I think I am, but even that seems to change. This week I have done quite a bit of reflection on what my life is now as compared to other years. Some questions keep coming to me. One is "Why did God bring me back to life when I had actually stopped breathing in the hospital when I had that aspirated pneumonia two years ago?" Another is "Why am I so loved by God?" "What is my way of giving joy to Jesus and others here at Oakwood? How am I called to follow Jesus poor?" "Am I pleasing Jesus by my daily choices?"
Lots of questions and I am counting on the help of the Holy Spirit to show me whatever the Lord wants of me now. It gives me great peace to feel surrendered, open, and, hopefully able to say yes to whatever is asked of me.
I suspect as we get older we still have more questions than answers. However, if we take time to reflect on the questions that are surfacing in us, we may find that the Holy Spirit is working in us through the questions. The questions may be more important than the answers. I have found that my interior life is really more interesting than my exterior life. I wonder if that is true for many.