Through Julian's Windows

Elizabeth Ruth Obbard has written a beautiful book called Through Julian's Windows: Growing Into Wholeness with Julian of Norwich (Canterbury Press, 2008)

Julian asked for three wounds: true contrition, natural compassion, and unshakable longing for God. There were three windows in her cell - one represents adoration and love for God, one the service of others by compassion, and the third recognized her own limitations and need of support. Obbard shows how each window links to one of the wounds Julian had prayed for and received from the Lord.

At the end of each section of this book, there is a "Space to Reflect" which offers some quotations for reflection and prayer from Scripture and from some of the saints and mystics. It is a book to savor, to pray over, not just read. Elizabeth Obbard lives as a "solitary" herself and understands Julian as a "woman of yesterday for today".

How Forgetful Can I Be?

At the end of our Reflection Group last night we talked about a new book. One had suggested Richard Rohr's Things Hidden: Scripture as Spirituality and I could not remembering having it. As soon as all had left and I went to put away about a dozen of the new books I had passed around, I not only found Rohr's book but saw that I had marked the entire book with a highlighter; I had not only read the book but must have reread it to have it all marked up and yet I could not remember it! I guess I have been on overload and it is wonderful to have the summer before me. I will be back at the University on Monday, but only to give spiritual direction, check out what I can do to attract new students for the International Online Certificate Program in Spirituality Studies, and update my website. Then I promise myself some serious time for reading the good books piling up on my bookshelf.
Since I found Rohr's book, I will share a quote that I like (there are so many that it is hard to choose just one!). "You wouldn't even desire to pray except for God in you. It's God in you that loves God, that desires God, that seeks God (see Romans 8:14-27). Every time you choose God on some level, God has in the previous nanosecond just chosen you, and you have somehow allowed yourself to be chosen--and responded back!(John 15:16).
We don't know how to say yes by ourselves. We just 'second the motion'! There is a part of you that has always said yes to God, it is the Holy Spirit within you. God first says 'yes' inside of us and we say, 'Oh yeah,' thinking it comes from us! In other words, God rewards us for letting God reward us. Think about that, maybe even for the rest of your life."
I am wondering if the Holy Spirit hid this book on my shelf from me and allowed me to forget it and then remember it so it would have more of an impact on me. Now I feel that it was providential that we decided not to order a book before August. I have also decided that it is time to dust my bookcases and put some order in the shelf with the newer books waiting to be read.
We also talked about how God is present to us in the beauty of nature. For this reason, I like to add a picture that either fills me with a sense of peace or maybe overwhelms me with awe. Some pictures do both and all are a joy for me and I hope my readers enjoy the scenes chosen, too. Hopefully, it is God that nudges me so God chooses to help me choose! Now I sound like Richard Rohr!

The basis of radical freedom is trust...

Our expanding universe gives us a feeling of awe.
Tonight we have our Reflection group. I began this group about fourteen years ago. Although few are left of the original group, there are usually about a dozen or more of us who gather in my community for dinner, prayer, and sharing of our reflections on the chosen book. We always have more women than men, but it helps to have a mixed group. We are finishing Albert Nolan's recent book, Jesus Today: A Spirituality of Radical Freedom.
Nolan says that "the immediate result of attempting to live Jesus' spirituality today is freedom."
The basis of radical freedom is trust. We become free as we "gradually learn to appreciate God's love for us, which leads us to surrender ourselves and to put all our trust in God."
One of my favorite ejaculations is "Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in You!" We used to sing this as a theme song for the entire school at Clifton (a Sacred Heart school where I taught for almost five years before going to Rome for final Profession and then to Chile). Here is what we sang with the children: "Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I trust in Thee; Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, I believe in Thy love for me; Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, may Thy Kingdom come!" It has stayed with me ever since and I keep singing it in my heart or even aloud in my car. Try it! It is really powerful. May it lead us to the radical freedom of the spirituality of Jesus!

Feast of St. Barnabas

Today we celebrate Barnabas whose name was changed by the apostles from Joseph to Barnabas, son of encouragement. Many years ago in Chile someone told me that I was a "Barnabas" because I was a source of encouragement for all; I have never forgotten that and it has helped me, especially when in administrative positions. We all need to encourage one another. Let us look for ways to do this today and so honor Barnabas who went and got Paul and helped preach the Gospel to the Gentiles along with Paul.
It is good to be home and I am sorry that I could not write the last few days in St. Louis. We had a great alumni celebration on Saturday. It was a good week for me as I was able to see most of my friends and enjoyed being in two different communities of RSCJs where, of course, I am always made to feel at home.
I found this quote when reading John Maine and thought it one that I want to share with you today:
"Any of us can wander off on diversions, into distractions, triviality, and self-importance. The great power of liberty and confidence that permeates our life, however, is that we do have a way back to the straight way, to simplicity and othercenterlines. Our way back is simply the love of Jesus that is always present to us, in our own heart, not as something we have either to earn or conjure up--but as something that simply is and is so simply that it underpins and surrounds us in the root of our being. It lives us into being and cannot leave us until we have freely accepted the gift of being it bestows."
Now that is an encouraging quote and worthy of a St. Barnabas!!
John Maine perhaps invented the word "othercenterlines".

60 Years since Graduation

My grandmother and my great aunts had been educated at the Academy of the Sacred Heart in St. Charles, Missouri. When I was finishing the eighth grade, I went with some of my classmates to take scholarship examinations for Catholic high schools. I went to the Academy of the Sacred Heart in St. Charles as one of the schools just to see what it was like and I fell in love with it. In one day I knew that I wanted to return and have an experience of boarding school. I felt the atmosphere of love and the special spirit that is there because of St. Philippine Duchesne who had spent the last ten years of her saintly life there after returning from the Indian missions. The Academy at St. Charles was the first school of the Sacred Heart established by Philippine in 1818 when she arrived from France. I remember that I played my first game of cache-cache on that Saturday scholarship day. This is a favorite game of hide and seek played in teams and great fun. My team hid in the loft of the old barn and drew the ladder up afterwards so, even if we were found, no one could reach us to tag a player.
My years at St. Charles were the most formative of my life; we had some marvelous educators and we felt that we were loved and cared for day and night by this really remarkable community of religious of the Sacred Heart. Today, I return to celebrate the graces given to me during those years at the dear "old Academy." In our school song we sang "home of sunny laughter" and it was that for me. Sometimes it is good to go back and relive our formative years and thank for all we received! This year will be especially marked for me because today I assist at the funeral Mass of one of my oldest and best friends who shared my love of the Academy of the Sacred Heart.

The Duty of Delight

When I was in Gainesville a good friend gave me a new book: The Duty of Delight: The Diaries of Dorothy Day." As he had been a student of mine and I had introduced him to the spirituality and writings of Dorothy Day, he knew I would love this book. It is a thick one and so did not travel to St. Louis with me, but it is a fascinating look at the spiritual struggles and growth of a woman who is still influencing American spirituality today. The Catholic Worker houses still exist and the paper still is only one cent! This book is edited by Robert Ellsberg.(Marquette University Press, 2008). Dorothy wrote in February of 1961, "Today I thought of a title for my book, The Duty of Delight, as a sequel to The Long Loneliness> I was thinking as one gets older (Dorothy was born in 1897), we are tempted to sadness, knowing life as it is here on earth, the suffering, the Cross. And how we must overcome it daily, growing in love, and the joy which goes with loving." Dorothy Day's cause has been introduced for canonization; she will be a very human saint and her diaries show us her own struggles! Do I think of duty as a delight?

The Loss of a Friend

This is sad news for those left to grieve. I arrived in St. Louis only to hear that my friend since grade school who was like a sister to me had died in the emergency room that very morning. I am still in shock and grieve with her two brothers and four wonderful children and the grandchildren. Peggy was always with me and so her family was important to me. I had talked with her just a few days ago and we had made plans to be together in St. Louis. She told me how busy she had been and we talked about the need to slow down, but she was in good health.

We were going to celebrate our 60th anniversary from graduation from the Academy of the Sacred Heart this Saturday. We talked about what a wonderful education we had received and Peggy told me how grateful she was for our years at the Academy in St. Charles. We would go out on Mondays together and return on Fridays so we only boarded four nights and had three at home. We had the best of both worlds!

Peggy spent one summer with me and the next we went to Mexico together. Then we went to college together. She would come over and play cards with my Dad, have long talks my mother, play the piano a bit and just hang out at my house. I really thought of her as a sister; I never had to entertain her.
She gave a wonderful party for me before I left for the convent. It lasted all night! She asked for my big, blue sweatshirt to wear as she loved it. She continued to visit my parents after I left home and then became good friends with my sister. When I left Miami, I left on my desk a birthday card to write for Peggy when I returned; now I shall just keep her in my prayer and think of all the wonderful times we had together.

The wake is Friday night and the funeral Mass early Saturday morning, the day we are celebrating our 60th - only three of us will now be at the Academy for the late afternoon Mass to celebrate with all the alumni, but Peggy will be with us in spirit.
Do pray for her children as sudden death is such a shock!

Longing for God

As a deer longs for running water, so my soul longs for You, O God.

Cry Out for God
One night a man was crying,
Allah! Allah!
His lips grew sweet with the praising,
until a cynic said,
"So! I have heard you
calling out, but have you ever
gotten any response?"

The man had no answer to that.
He quit praying and fell into a confused sleep.

He dreamed he saw Khidr, the guide of souls,
in a thick, green foliage.
"Why did you stop praising?"
"Because I've never heard anything back."
"This longing you express is the return message."

The grief you cry out from
draws you toward union.

Your pure sadness
that wants help
is the secret cup.

— Jelaluddin Rumi in The Essential Rumi translated by Coleman Barks

This was sent me by a dear friend in Scotland and I am sure that the longing is the return message from God as I am convinced that God increases our longing so that we may grow in our capacity to receive His Love.
It is sometimes a joyous longing so I would like to emphasize that even when our longing is a painful ache, it is full of joy or can be full of joy as we know our God is so close to us and loves us unconditionally. I read today in John Maine that God is intimately present to us but also infinitely beyond us.
I am leaving for St. Louis today and will try to keep posting daily while away for a week. It will be a time for visiting old friends but I intend to save time for my blog as I hear from more who are reading it daily.

God fills us with kindness every morning!

When I read over the Liturgy this morning, what struck me was a verse from Psalm 90: "Fill us at daybreak with your kindness, that we may shout for joy and gladness all our days." God does fill us with his kindness every morning. Why are we not out there shouting for joy?
I fly to St. Louis today for a week to see my friends there and visit places of my childhood. I am also the one planning our 60th anniversary of our graduation from the Academy of the Sacred Heart in St. Charles. St. Philippine Duchesne opened the first school there in 1818 and is buried on the grounds now so it is a place of pilgrimage. She was a great pioneer and her spirit lives on in the education still given there.
I will be writing a blog daily, I hope, but know that you will understand if I do miss a day or so as it is more difficult when away and having to use a computer that may or may not be available.
Today is also the celebration of the martyrs of Uganda. Let us pray for Africa!

Dawn - a precious gift

This morning I want to share a thought from Macrina Wiederkehr's Seven Sacred Pauses: Living Mindfully Through the Hours of the Day.
Speaking of dawn as a most gracious gift, Macrina admits that she does not always rise at dawn and watch for God, nor does she consistently awaken with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving. There are times "when the wings of my heart remain folded; yet prayer still happens in me. There are mornings when I simply sit in silence trying to remember some of the things that need to rise in me: a tolerance for those who don't agree with me, a refusal to judge others, a willingness to forgive, greater effort to live with a non-violent heart, loving thoughts toward those who don't exactly dote on me, a calm and hopeful spirit in the midst of my anxieties, discipline in my daily personal prayer, attention and faithfulness in my daily work, a holy anger for injustice in our world. As I remember these necessary risings in my life, the wings of my heart slowly begin to unfold. All Praise to You, Giver of the Morning!"
I hope Macrina does not mind me quoting her here, but I think we all need to let these things rise in us. Let us strive for a new dawn in our own lives this June.

Ninth Sunday in Ordinary Time

In today's gospel (Mt 7:21-27) Jesus tells us that only those who do the will of his Father in heaven will enter the kingdom. Then Jesus says, "Everyone who listens to these words of mine and acts on them will be like a wise man who built his house on rock. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. But it did not collapse; it had been set solidly on rock. And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined."
We need the habit of discernment to know the will of God; we need the gifts of the Holy Spirit to do it. Jesus gives us the grace so let us build our house on rock!